i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
