Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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