Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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