I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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