Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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