people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
