Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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