Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
