You're so nebulous sometimes
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
