what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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