Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
