For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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