He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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