butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
