I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
