I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
