just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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