We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
