were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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