Your mouth is God's brothel.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
