Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Just cropdusted the office
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize