Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
