I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
