i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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