I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You can't motorboat a personality
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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