Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
