i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I take back everything I said about communal showers
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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