watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
