You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
