why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Dick very happy bro
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
