I am spending my child support on dildos
only if we run a train.
done.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Dicks are not precious.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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