when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
