You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
