She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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