we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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