there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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