what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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