There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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