Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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