I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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