just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
