This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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