Buhtt sex?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
