if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
