im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
