White coat. Heels.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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