i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Randomize
