I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
