Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
