Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
