You were right. It hurts to walk today.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The air was thick with penises
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
