hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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