OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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