Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
