Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Randomize
