why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Just took my morning after pill in the library
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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