the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
