i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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