I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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