bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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