Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
