Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
