Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
