I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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