Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
